In just a few days time we will reach our 2 years in the States marker. One of the beauties of when we left Thailand was choosing to leave on Gracyn’s birthday. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it is a form of protection against the emotions that come with another year gone by. I can’t very well be mopey on her birthday every year. I am choosing to go ahead and address this now so that I can be all there for her big day. Admittedly, I have been having a hard time with missing Thailand. I think this is partly due to just missing it, but also in seeing all the team blogs with all the activities and ministry going on. While that is thrilling to see, it also causes some longings in my heart to see and experience it all first hand. I know it can be hard to understand a person who has a “life and heart” in two places (unless you are one of them), so please just give me grace in the fact that I may never fully reconcile the two. It is really complicated. However, God has been really kind to me that at around this time I have received a letter from a team friend, and two phone calls from team friends who happen to be in the States currently. It has been wonderful to hear from each of them about their lives and about all that is happening in Thailand. It really is amazing to hear how things have grown over the last two years and how God is blessing the efforts of all who have labored there. To see how the church struggled to have anyone come for a worship service to now having 60-90 in attendance is mind boggling. To hear of teams of short termers coming for a few months and generating momentum is wonderful. To see the Thai leadership owning this is an answer to prayers. It has also just been a gift to hear from these 3 women and just know that no matter the distance there are some special people out there that I will always love and be concerned for. I’m still just really thankful for my 8 years in Thailand and my time there will always be a part of me. I really cherish that part of my life from my CCP to teaching at ICS to serving with MTW. It’s an amazing place with amazing people!
July 24, 2009 7 Comments
kimmyskids.wordpress.com 
Hey Kim. Great post. I can understand what you are feeling in some part. I too have a sense of loss sometimes when I think of our time on staff with CO. I get a support letter or campus newsletter and feel a little sad that we are no longer part of that particular movement anymore. Glad you were able to talk with some friends and get that connection!
Leigh Anne..thanks for sharing that. It helps to know I am not the only one that deals with the bittersweet nature of these changes.
Kim,
I have been praying for you…the struggle I feel (having been there only for a short time three years in a row) is similar to yours, although not as deep I am sure. But the tug and the desire to be a part of all that is happening is sometimes overwhelming (complete with tears). Hang in there. The Lord will see you through this.
love, Helen H.
Thanks Helen!
Hey Kim,
The pressure cooker of the mission field…someone needs to write a book…how ’bout you?! =) The one thing I love about that pressure cooker is the friendships we’ve made and the community we lived in though fallen and in need of the desperate grace of Jesus, we lived in community and we had a small, itty bitty glimpse of life together in Jesus. I miss you dearly, my friend, but talking to you was a healing balm to my heart…thanks for listening and thanks for your continual care of me!!! Have a wonderful birthday with G.
love to you all…
Thanks Crystal…I too look very fondly on the frienships formed and how you really do form a family and community. Jack calls it being in the trenches together;the sharing of experiences bonding you together. It’s so true. I miss that and just the community of Thai people generally. Maybe I’ll get a grip one day! 🙂
It’s hard to believe it’s been two years. We miss you and know that God is doing great things right where you are, although your heart will always be in two places. I’m part of the club that understands that! Happy birthday Gracyn and may the joy of your girl and the joy of your memories be strong as you process all that’s in your heart!